And here comes another year..

Okay, so whether we admit it or not, we all make new year resolutions, either in secret, or ones we share with everyone else.

For me, new years is a weird time in the year, because it has you thinking that things really do change, when really it's just another creation that man has, well, created? It's just another day?
But still, even i make resolutions..

"I will try to find myself" - the worst resolution to make, because you'll only be making it again the following year. Quite simply, you're always chasing who you want to be.

"I will stop worrying about things" i'm a worrier, always have been, always will, by telling myself to stop worrying, i am not going to change this..

"I will stop pushing people away" this, also, will never change. So it was pointless making it in the first place.

So there's a small example of my useless resolutions. Have they been completed? No.

So this year.. I will NOT make a resolution. Again.
This year, my resolution is,
"To be the exact same person i am, and do everything the way i already do"
This one, i shall manage to do.

Another post for today

Yes, two blog posts in one day..

So, today i realised something about myself, how my mood changes within an instant from being totally happy and loving the world to being rather down and slightly reflective over life. Now, whether this is just a teenage girl thing or not, i do find it rather bizarre. I also find it kinda weird how by playing one song, or one album, i'm in a different mindset than i was before listening. I guess, in a way, that's not totally weird, it's just the way music works. It has this effect on you, or at least me?

Either way, i'm feeling rather creative, so i'm going to put my James album back to the beginning and immerge myself in some artwork, and see what i come up with...

28/12/11

Today I'm listening to "Out To Get You" by James

Today i'm not quoting my favourite line, or the most meaningful line from the lyrics, or putting my own interpretation to it.
I'm taking what is said inside the album insert.

"Paranoia enforces loneliness, "here they come again""

27/12/11

Today i'm listening to "She Sings Alone" by See See Rider

Some sing alone, some just sing quietly..

Christmas Eve

Mmm hot chocolate, warm fire, good music.
This is the life!
There's something about christmas for me, reminds me of the excitement i used to get so easily as a kid, the moment you wake up and realise it's christmas day. Aww, the good old days. These days i'm just happy to enjoy being with all the family.
Have a good christmas guys :)

23/12/11

Today i'm listening to "So Here We Are" By Bloc Party

I caught a glimpse, but it's been forgotten...

21/12/11

Today i'm listening to "There Goes The Fear" by Doves

I really wish that it could be possible for every single fear to disappear. To vanish and never come back. Fears hold everyone back, the fear of not getting anywhere in life, the fear of being disappointed, or the fear of being the disappointment.

I read somewhere once,
It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.

20/12/11

Today i'm listening to "Re-Gaining Unconciousness" by NoFX
First they put away the dealers
Keep our kids safe and off the streets
Then they put away the prostitutes
Keep married men cloistered at home
Then they shooed away the bums
Then they beat and bashed the queers
Fed us suspicions and fears
We didn't raise our voice
We didn't make a fuss
It's funny there was no one left to notice
When they came for us..

Stand up for what you believe in guys, because if you don't.. then who will?

18/12/11

Tonight i'm gonna enjoy the incredible album "Dark Side of The Moon" by no other than Pink Floyd.

This is, by far, one of THE best albums ever created.
I recommend to anyone who hasn't listened to this album..
and don't download it, go out and actually buy this on CD or Vinyl.



Pink Floyd - I salute you, your music is incredible.

16/12/11

Today i'm listening to "I Can See Through You" by The Horrors

Why do people rarely bother to get to know others below the surface? It's kinda weird how people decide whether they like someone or not based on their own idea of the person..
I see through most people, because most people see through me.

15/12/11

Today, i was actually listening to "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri.
I have to say, i hadn't heard this until it was played in the union building at my college, and it really is refreshing to see someone come into the modern music scene like her. Someone who's music actually means something, and is generally, good music. Don't get me wrong, there's loads of music out there like this, but for it to be recognised and appreciated is what makes me smile.

There's gonna be people out there hitting the replay on songs like these. People who want to feel the way a  certain song makes them feel.
Never underestimate the power of music guys, it's the most incredible thing..

14/12/11

Today i'm listening to "The Lonliness of a Tower Crane Driver" by Elbow
Come on, tower crane driver, oh, so far to fall..

No matter how successful you think you are in life, it really doesn't mean anything if you don't have anyone to share it with. Lonliness is the worst feeling in the world.. Keep your world filled with people who mean everything to you, and don't ever, let them go.

13/12/11

Believe in the music, and everything else will fall into place..

12/12/11

Today i'm listening to "My Favourite Mistake" by Sheryl Crow

When you go it's the perfect ending, to the bad day I was just beginning..

11/12/11

Today i'm listening to "The Flame" by Cheap Trick

This song is one of them rather "mushy" rock songs that you read the lyrics and think, what is this cheesy stuff? But this song is so sad, dontcha think? Some serious emotion in these lyrics.

We all look for the flame..

10/12/11

Today i'm listening to "Celebrate" by An Emotional Fish

There's a line in this song that goes..
He claims it's dangerous to be innocent 'cause you're the victim every time..

I spent my whole high school years feeling the victim. The victim of myself, really. It's weird to think that you really can be your own worst enemy. Maybe, if people stopped feeling as if they're the victim all the time, they'd be so much happier?...You'd like to think so...

8/12/11

You know, most people find rainy days depressing. Having to stay inside when you really wanna be out in the open air, doing stuff with your day. I like rainy days. Being inside in the warmth when out there is freezing cold and wet. Makes you feel safe, and i like feeling safe. I can apply that to every aspect of my life.. being safe. I keep people at a safe distance from me, i don't like to get too close to people. Because they always leave, right? I keep wondering to myself though, what if there was someone who didn't leave, would i open up to them? Would i show them who i really am? God that's so cliche, "showing the real you" who is the real you? I mean, people say it all the time, but they act the same as they did before?
Someday i'm gonna let my guard down, someday i'm gonna stop looking at people wondering how they're gonna ruin my life, or tear me down. I miss out on so many good things in life, i know i do, because it's so hard to let people in.
I don't even know why i'm telling you guys this (whoever actually reads this crap) i guess, for me, speaking to complete strangers (or typing rather) is alot easier than talking to people i know. Plus, writing it out seems to be some kinda therapy for me. The blogs called wave of thought, right? Well this is my massive wave of thought.

 The lyrics to "Float On" By Modest Mouse have been wandering in and out of my head today, it goes "I backed my car into a cop car the other day, well, he just drove off - sometimes life's okay, I ran my mouth off a bit too much, ah what did I say? Well, you just laughed it off and it was all okay." I let my mind wander too far, too often. Maybe i should just, well, laugh things off, and not stress over them so much. Just, you know, float on..

7/12/11

Today I'm listening to "Beautiful World" by Carolina Liar

Sunlight creeps in between the curtains, lose the sheets there’s no time for sleep
I lie, I pretend ‘til I’m almost certain, It’s a beautiful world

Ever sat and thought about how weird the world is? I have. I do alot. I can't figure out most of it, but then i don't think anyone can. I just look forward to waking up in the morning starting a new day, telling myself that this day will be good.

To me, it most definately is, a beautiful world.

6/12/11

Today I'm listening to "Don't you forget about me" by Simple Minds

Personally, i think i say this to people too much...

5/12/11

Today i'm listening to "Lifeline" by Angels and Airwaves
This song is so heroic sounding. Just by listening to it i have goosebumps.
It's that incredible feeling called reassurance. Knowing that you're making the right decisions, and just by someone telling you you are, you feel reassured. We all look to the person next to us for the answers in life, expecting them to know, but they don't? None of us do.
All i can say is, when there's someone in your life who gives you this reassurance, and tells you everythings gonna be okay, and saves you from your darkest days. Never let them go.


There’s a field near the dream, I watched it grow with brightest eyes.

4/12/11

Today i'm listening to "Hear You Me" by Jimmy Eat World
This song is so beautiful, but yet so sad. I love it when a song overwhelmes you. We all need to be overwhelmed..

What would you think of me now, so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that..

1/12/11

Today i'm listening to "From the Morning" by Nick Drake
There's something special about Nick's songs, they tell a story. They're filled with mystery, and his music really is just lovely to listen to.

So look see the days, the endless coloured ways, and go play the game that you learnt, from the morning..

30/11/11

Today i'm listening to "Hallelujah" By Jeff Buckley
This is by far the best version of this song, Jeff Buckley has the amazing ability of putting real emotion into his songs. This song makes me fall in love with music all over again everytime i hear it..

29/11/11

Today i'm listening to "That's all changed forever" by Embrace. They are by far, my favourite band.
I cant even begin to explain how much has changed for me in that last year. But then that's what's gonna happen in life, things are gonna change, things are gonna progress, or maybe even take a couple steps backwards. But either way, change is good. Sometimes..

I couldnt help but think today on how much i used to depend on music. It used to be my only way of getting through the day, and recently ive felt myself drift away from it in that sense. I don't wanna stop believing in it, i don't wanna stop believing in music, in life, and everything that's good or important. I'm gonna find myself in music again.

This is Paul Westerberg performing my personal favourite Replacements' song "Here Comes a Regular"
This song is quite chilling in the sense that it's so god damn incredible and all it is is an acoustic guitar and a vocal.

And everybody wants to be special here
They call your name out loud and clear
Here comes a regular.

I also love the lyrics for this song, this has to be one of my favourite songs ever created.

All credit to the person who filmed this, which was not me.

27/11/11

My lack of posts has been dreadful this week, i've just been so busy!
Yes, me, busy. Never thought those words would fit in a sentence together..
From work, to college, to travelling all the way to edinburgh in search of more records, this week has been pretty hectic..

Today i'm listening to "Sour Girl" by Stone Temple Pilots
the lyrics in this are really quiet smart if you ask me..
I was a superman but looks are decieving, the rollercoaster ride's a lonely one, i'd pay a ransom note to stop it from steaming.
I'll leave you to make your own interpretation of that..

24/11/11

Today i'm listening to "Hoppipolla" by Sigur Ros
This song is played everywhere, always on inspirational videos, because it is incredibly inspirational in sound. It's one of them songs that you listen to and it'll instantly take an effect on you, even from the very first note.
Incredible huh? That's music for you..

23/11/11

Today i'm listening to "Riot Act" by Elvis Costello

Now they say i don't care for the colour that it paints me, trying to be so bad is bad enough..

21/11/11

Today, it's The Cure again.
"A Night Like This" totally describes how i feel today.
There's something about the night, it's the mystery and the unknowing feeling of what tomorrow brings. It's the time we all figure out our lives, or how the day has gone, thinking over things that have or haven't been said, things we could change, and things we regret..

I want it to be perfect like before.

20/11/11

Today i'm listening to "Tuesdays gone" by Lynyrd Skynyrd

Tuesdays gone with the wind, my baby's gone with the wind.
Sometimes thinking back to when something was good can be the hardest thoughts to have in your head. You miss it, you want it back, but you never realise that things can get good again. Maybe even better..

18/11/11

Today i'm listening to "Happiness" by The Weepies

Sometimes it's just a nice feeling when a song describes your mood, it's comforting to know there's someone else out there feeling the same way, good or bad.

You can't steal happiness.

13/11/11

Today, I'm listening to "Into The Fire" by Thirteen Senses

It's one thing to go "into the fire," but another to come out unburnt..

12/11/11

Today i'm listening to "Pyramid Song" by Radiohead
this is such a beautiful song, of which so much emotion can be heard through Yorke's voice.
I jumped in the river and what did I see? Black-eyed angels swam with me

All my past and futures, and we all went to heaven in a little row boat, there was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt..

Death scares me, but i think it scares everyone. Maybe it's supposed to, maybe it's supposed to push you to do the things you're scared to do in life. Everyone says it, "you only live once" so maybe, just maybe, death really is there for a reason...

10/11/11

Broke up with my boyfriend today. Hard thing to do, but sometimes it has to be done. I think this applies to most things in life really, you gotta do what you gotta do. To make yourself happy. It's moments like this where i find myself thinking, well whats everyone gonna think? But really, i shouldnt look at it that way, cus it's for my own good, not theirs...

My song today is "To Wish Impossible Things" by The Cure
Remember how it used to be when the sun would fill up the sky, remember how we used to feel those days would never end. But now the sun shines cold and all the sky is grey, all i wish, is gone away...

There's always going to be something more powerful

A good book, a great song, an inspirational movie. What is it we look for out of all these things? Do we try to read between the lines of a story? Interepret the hell out of the lyrics in a song to try and relate? Or find emotion from watching a story unfold?
There's something in this world we're all after, we're all fighting for it.
It's the hope you feel when something good happens, it's the pain that wrenches through you when you cry, and it's the comfort you get from your own strength.
It's the feeling i get from hearing the feeling behind lyrics, witnessing someones passion, and when i put on that one song that makes me feel the world is a better place.

7/11/11

Today i'm listening to "She Don't Use Jelly" by The Flaming Lips.
The song is basically about the unusual qualities of a person.

Individuality is the key to life. When you find who are you, you've accomplished lifes hardest goal. I still find myself wondering if i know who i am... I guess we all will for the rest of their lives, cus no ones ever gonna get it...

5/11/11

No bonfire for me tonight.. i havent been to one in about three years! I guess my kinda night is me just sat in front of the fire watching tv, or experimenting with piano or guitar. Cliche i know, but c'mon, doesnt get much better right?

Today I'm listening to John Hiatt, "Have a little faith in me"
There's days, like today, where all i want is to have someone to have faith in me, to believe that what i'm doing is right, and i'm making the right decisions..

When it got difficult..

Love has to be the hardest thing in this life..
it's true that relationships are so hard, because the only thing harder is being alone..
The heart wants what it wants, and sometimes you gotta go for the thing you want most, right?
You're never gonna please everyone, as long as you yourself is happy, then i guess that's all that matters?

So, yeah, i'm stuck in a love triangle, and yeah, they're not fun. My head's a mess, and what i thought i wanted turns out to be what i dont want.

Spending my time searching for the answer in music...

Organising my thoughts...

Sometimes it isn't about whether you're liked, or disliked. Sometimes it's about fighting for your opinions, and your rights, regardless of consequences. I think i've only just figured this out. But what is the point of measuring yourself to what other people think? Or what they want from you? At the end of the day, these people aren't going to be in your life forever..
So many people say to me that something in their life sucks, they complain about it, and never do anything? Fight for what you want, this is your life afterall. If something sucks, do something about it. Cus no one else will.

My head really is a mess today, so i guess you could say this is me organising my thoughts, trying to convince myself of these words. Sometimes all you need is words to make your day. Like when someone sends you a really sweet text, and you read it over and over because it gives you that warm feeling and makes you smile. Words save lives. They can inspire, comfort, and give you strength.

Success?

What is really the point in it all? Life..
Is it success? Love? Happiness?
How do you measure your success, your love, or your happiness?
Happiness is a mood, it comes and it goes, you're not going to be happy forever.. but when you are it's great. To be in love is incredible, it's something you should keep hold of while you have it, even when it does get confusing, difficult, or too much.
Success? You could say success is measured by money, power, and/or happiness. But to me, success is more about who you are yourself. Successful people are the one's who put themselves out there, showing the world who they are and what they're about, and not backing down when life gets too tough, and working hard at every task thrown their way. Look at the worlds greatest musicians, Jimmy Page, Jimi Hendrix, Jeff Buckley.. the list really is endless. But these guys weren't afraid, they did what they were good at and wowed the world with their talents. This, is success.

31/10/11

Well, happy halloween folks :)
Today's the day that kids get dressed up and get free sweets, can't get much better than that can it?
"Good Life" by Onerepublic has really influenced my creativity today.
I do love days where so many ideas fill your mind, and the world seems like a better place, and you know that everything's gonna be okay.
This is what music's about. It's about finding your opinions, figuring out how it is you see the world, and finding the strength to overcome your battles. For me, one song can change everything..

Got this feeling you can't fight, like this city is on fire tonight, this could really be a good life, a good good life.

30/10/11

Song of today is "Don't You Worry" by The Beloved.
This song has a slow feel to it, but really, it's quite happy.
The lyrics are so positive, they're exactly what i need on a down day..
Sometimes it's hard not to worry, things in life take a turn, and you don't know how to deal, so you worry, or get sad, when maybe the situation really isn't worth worrying about. You do it anyway, because you don't know how else to feel..

28/10/11

Today i'm listening to "Wave of Mutilation" by The Pixies
This song gets me, because i'm not sure how to interpret it,
"cease to resist, giving my goodbye, drive my car into the ocean"

This is what's so great about music, it can be interpreted differently by so many different people, some people can find a song like, totally depressing, and others can find it meaningful and find inspiration from it.

27/10/11

Today I'm listening to "This is England" by the clash.
Without a doubt, this song has meaning. The state of england at the time of it's release was the inspiration behind the song. High unemployment, violence, and the time of Thatcher.
I think that's enough to make anyone pick up a pen and write down their thoughts..

Time on his hands freezing in those clothes
He won't go for the carrot
They beat him by the pole
Some sunny day confronted by his soul
He's out at sea, too far off, he can't go home

26/10/11

Today, "For Blue Skies" by Strays Don't Sleep has been my song.
It's such a simple song, with the same notes the whole way through, but it's so powerful and brings me to tears everytime i listen to it.

Sometimes i like crying.. kinda brings out some kind of emotion from you, even when you feel numb.

This songs more about forgiveness..

I wanna burn this film
You alone with those pills
What you couldn’t do I will
I forgive you.

25/10/11

Kurt Cobain has to be one of the most legendary musicians of all time. Today i had Nirvana's "Nevermind" album on, couldn't help but think how much feeling you can hear through his music. He knew how to turn his pain into music, even though he also did turn to drugs. Although drugs numbed his pain, the music he created was from that pain.

Song of the day would have to be "In Bloom" by Nirvana.

He's the one who likes all our pretty songs
And he likes to sing along and he likes to shoot his gun
But he knows not what it means
Knows not what it means

24/10/11

Well, today, it's audioslave ringing in my ears. Which of course, is a good thing.
I am the highway is my song of today, the words make sense to me.


I am not your rolling wheels, i am the highway.

This is my strength song, reminds me that im not a person to push around, i shouldnt have to be pushed around. So, thank you audioslave.

23/10/11

So, today, i've been maybe a bit obsessed with Tom Petty, he came on live on tv, and i couldn't resist watching. I've had "Something good coming" stuck in my head all day.

There’s something good coming
For you and me
Something good coming
There has to be

I hope there's something good coming for me. We wait our whole lives waiting for something good, hoping that maybe tomorrow we'll be happier, but even when it does, it's not gonna last forever. That's part of life.